I have decided that I do not want to be me anymore, thank you very much. In fact, I don’t particularly want to be anyone. Unfortunately, it is one of those annoying problems that doesn’t really have a solution. So I guess all I can do is let life throw all that it wants to at me, and just take it, without much complaint, because what else is there to do? Yeah, I could change, but to be honest, I don’t think that it would last even if I did.
August 2007
Monthly Archive
August 31, 2007
August 29, 2007
Is it really too much trouble for shops to sell VCRs these days? Honestly! There are a total of two in the Argos catalogue. Yes, in all of those pages there are only two that are not DVD/VCR combination things. Plus, they are stupidly expensive considering their unpopularity. One of them is either £34.99 or £44.89 (depending on if you want it with Nicam or not) and the other one is £59.99. Why should I have to spend that sort of amount of money on something that seems to be so uncool these days? I do hate how things are turning out.
August 28, 2007
The easier it is to pull her in, the more he wants to push her away.
My father bought a new computer monitor today, for basically no reason whatsoever. Now there is more room for my mug of tea on the computer desk, which is always good. And it is wider and brighter and generally nicer. I do like it when my father does one of his impulse buys, especially when they benefit me as well, sometimes even more than it benefits him. I have decided that life ain’t half bad. I am still breathing. It is nearly Autumn (!!!!), which, and anyone who knows me well will know this, is my favourite season by far. I like the chance of thunderstorms. I like the way the trees lose their leaves. I like it that it is quite a nice temperature; not too hot, not too cold. Also, school starts again soon, which I am shockingly happy about, considering the fact that I cannot stand school. I find Summer boring, even though I have been having a good time with my friends, I kind of want to have something to do without having to make plans…
I slept for less than four hours last night. This was for several reasons. Number one: my next-door-neighbour was being noisy. Maybe he was having some sort of party. Number two: MY FOOT WAS SO DARN ITCHY. Number three: I just was not tired enough to sleep. Number four: I was thinking too much. So, I finally got to sleep a while after two o’clock AM, only to wake up at… wait for it… SIX O’CLOCK AM. Actually, it was about ten to, but let’s not be awkward and fussy. I proceeded to read act one of ‘The Importance of Being Earnest’, before having a cup of tea and some Special K, and reading the rest of it. I am officially in love with Oscar Wilde.
Anyway, I will stop typing now, because I am sure nobody has read all of this.
August 24, 2007
The kids are all destroying themselves these days. Each breath taken is a struggle against death, and each tear shed is a struggle against life. Gasping, in pain, one by one they fall down. They have broken themselves, and like so many other precious things, they cannot be fixed.
August 24, 2007
My GCSE results turned out to be a lot better than I expected, so really I should be extremely happy, but I have realised that I am not happy. I am not happy at all. I’m not sure how I can make things better, but I hope stuff sorts out soon. I have no idea who my real friends are anymore. I find it difficult to trust anyone. I used to be a really trusting person, but I guess I must have been let down too many times. Maybe I deserve it.
August 19, 2007
I have always found that there is something incredibly comforting about rain, especially when it is accompanied by thunder and lightning. I’m not sure where the logic in that is, but it is just the way I feel. However, the rain at the moment is rather pathetic; if it is going to rain, it may as well be proper heavy showers. I do hope there is a storm soon, and if not, I wish it would become hot and sunny again.
Anyway, moving on swiftly from the weather, which, although it seems like a very British thing to talk about, and I do like British things, I feel as though I should probably talk about something else. I am becoming more and more fond of trees as time goes on, but I do think many trees look best with fewer leaves. Maybe that is why I like Autumn so much; trees losing their leaves combined with possible storms. Bliss!
Gosh, this is the first time I have written what I consider to be a proper blog entry in a very long time. I suppose I haven’t been in much of a writing mood. Maybe I have to be in an unsure mood to be able to write. You see, right now, I am feeling both overjoyed and miserable. How? I just do not know. But it’s true. My mind works in odd ways, but I am sure I am not the only one.
Life is being a very strange thing at the moment. I can’t tell if it is good or bad. So I guess I could say it is mediocre/ average/ nothing special/ boring. Well, cross out the boring, because I HAVE been having a nice time going to the park/ going for coffee/ shopping with friends. But never mind. I never thought I would say this, but I actually want school to start again.
Anyway, I will shut up now, because I am starting to annoy myself. Thanks to anyone who has bothered to read all of this.
August 13, 2007
Here, dreams and reality merge to form a new state of being. One where it is impossible to tell what is real and what is not. Clouds dance in the sky, making dark shapes across the mass of grey. A face here, a horse there, a tree in the distance. What is real and what is not? Am I real?
August 7, 2007
Things aren’t even perfect when we are asleep.
